I may not be in school, but September will always carry the energy and anticipation of an upcoming academic year: new schedules emerging as summer’s leisurely rhythms dissolve into memory. Despite being a methodical planner, the season invariably catches me off-guard. The air is full of possibility, calendars are dense with obligation, and time suddenly accelerates beyond my control.
As I attempt to keep up with fall’s momentum, my schedule begins to feel fuller and fuller. Last week brought a packed teaching roster, multiple speaking engagements, out-of-state travel, and a few work dinners. As I felt myself hurtling toward burnout, so I made a pact with myself to take time over the weekend: rest, reflection, sauna sessions, and perhaps a cathartic cry. Does this ritual of deferred self-care resonate with anyone else?
The danger, of course, lies in repeatedly overriding our body’s requests for care. Real self-care defies binary thinking. It cannot be relegated to the bottom of our to-do lists or confined within mythical pockets of “free time.” It lives in the in-betweens: a walk in the middle of an ordinary Tuesday, a brief pause between meetings, a canceled plan. True self-care prioritizes consistency over intensity.
Consider this metaphor: each of us has with in us a bucket that fills with acts of self-care and empties with stress. The value of smaller, in-the-moment acts of care is that they are what keep the bucket from being depleted. They are critical! For those who feel like it’s impossible to keep that bucket full, it requires deeper reflection and structural change to actually make the bucket bigger. The more we build that reservoir of care on the inside, the less we end up crashing into burnout recovery. (I like to call this “self-care jail,” and I don’t recommend it.) In the big picture, having reserves in the bucket is what allows us to meet life’s challenges.
What follows is a little four-step practice to come back to throughout the day that falls into the first category: small shifts that won’t create dramatic change, but keep us from being completely depleted.
Cultivate awareness: Pause for thirty seconds and honestly assess your current state. Depleted? Anxious? Overwhelmed? This acknowledgment and self-validation forms the foundation of conscious care.
Identify your needs: Perhaps you require a week of restorative sleep and complete digital detox. Maybe you need space to process emotions, journal extensively, or connect meaningfully with a trusted friend. While these ideal solutions may remain temporarily inaccessible, small gestures in their direction often prove possible. If you need rest or a break from screens, consider a brief nap or a ten-minute phone-free walk. If emotions feel overwhelming, perhaps spend five minutes in meditation or practicing breathwork.
Take one small action immediately: The solutions that come to mind may not be accessible at the moment, but micro-interventions in their direction could be. For example, if you need rest and a break from screens, you might take a micro nap and/or a 10-minute walk outdoors without your phone. If you’re feeling emotional, perhaps you spend 5 minutes meditating or practicing breathwork.
Figure out what you can let go: Sometimes we’re just doing too much. Saying no doesn’t have to be dramatic. It might mean leaving dinner a little early, skipping an unnecessary meeting, or simply committing to less. Every “no” creates space for what you actually need.
Repeat: The more you check in with yourself, the better you’ll know what you need. When you realize you need a break, don’t put it off. Set a timer for ten minutes. Stretch, put your phone down, or lie down and take some deep breaths. It might not seem like much, but it adds up over time.
These quick daily check-ins help you stay grounded in the moment, but deeper reflections shape the kind of life you’re building. These aren’t one-time decisions, they’re questions to keep coming back to as you grow. Do your priorities actually show up in how you spend your time? In your actions and on your calendar? If you say wellness matters but don’t carve out time for it, what’s getting in the way? Sometimes thinking deeply points to the need for bigger change, like realizing that no amount of self-care can fix a toxic work environment, or that being constantly overwhelmed means you may need to actually block your calendar for alone time like you would any important meeting. Other times, it might mean making space for a hobby you’ve been wanting to try, or asking for support instead of trying to do everything alone.
Beyond that, there’s an even deeper layer: what’s driving your choices beneath the surface. Burnout isn’t just about poor time management. Sometimes it’s about the patterns underneath. Are you tying your worth to external approval? Are you people-pleasing, and if so, what are you protecting yourself from? Is staying busy helping you avoid certain feelings, or alone time with yourself? These reflections are invitations to live more honestly, to see yourself clearly and compassionately so that you can make space for shifts that better support the life you actually want.
Real self-care doesn’t always look like what you see in magazines or on social media. It’s not always glamorous, but it’s worth it to live a life in tune with yourself. As far as I know, there are no shortcuts in life, but self-care jail is one thing that is totally avoidable. All you have to do is put in the work, and choose you - again and again and again.