Grounding Practices

to help you thrive through Thanksgiving

In case you missed my last post, it was all about navigating Thanksgiving. It’s a joy for some families, and that is what I wish for everyone - including you. However, as that is not the case for all, I’m sharing some ways to mitigate the stress of the season. A few simple guidelines include:

• Create realistic expectations for yourself and others.

• Set boundaries before you need them.

• Nourish yourself. Take care of your body. Get adequate rest. You’ll be surprised how much this affects your resilience.

• Create grounding strategies for yourself before, during and after.

I’ve listed a few of my favorite 5-15 minute grounding practices below that have helped me cope with specific issues and feelings. Read on for more.

For those with social anxiety:
BEFORE: Spend 5-10 minutes breathing. If your breath lives in your chest, try to shift to diaphragmatic breathing. Put your hands on your body and feel your belly rise and fall. Imagine your breath moving in 3 dimensions: up and down, side to side widening your ribs, and from front body to back body. Try breathing in for a count of 4 and out for a count of 6.
DURING: Remind yourself that you inherently belong. You do not need to impress anyone or prove your worthiness. Believe in your genuine goodness and ability to connect with others on a human level.
AFTER: Count your wins. You survived the evening, and maybe even deepened some relationships. Spend a few minutes journaling about what it means to you to truly connect with others without performing.

For difficult family/social dynamics:
BEFORE: Spend 10-15 minutes practicing a metta meditation. Metta opens your heart to yourself and to others. Reminder: an open heart does not mean you don’t have a backbone or boundaries.
DURING: Accept that you cannot change others. You may have to live your whole life with a relative who doesn’t perceive the harm they have done and who will never apologize. You may never change unhealthy behavioral patterns. Your job is not to change anything, but to accept reality as it is. You are answerable to yourself. You can be compassionate and still maintain boundaries. Take care of you.
AFTER: Ask yourself what you need: a solo walk or 10 minute yoga practice, 5 minutes of box breathing, a body scan. Do whatever allows you to recenter yourself.

For those experiencing grief or loneliness:
BEFORE: Try a 5-10 minute mindfulness meditation acknowledging your feelings and holding them with kindness.
DURING: Try to be present. There may still be bright spots in the midst of pain. Look for them, acknowledge them, try to enjoy them.
AFTER: Try a body scan to help release tension you may be holding in your body.

To have a more positive outlook:
BEFORE: Try visualizing a realistic best-case scenario. How can you bring that energy with you into the day?
DURING: Interrupt yourself if you catch yourself catastrophizing. Take in what is truly happening instead. Use all your senses to be present. If it’s helpful, you can name 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, and 3 things you can touch.
AFTER: Give yourself grace. Sometimes planning for the worst case scenario is a form of self-care. Try journaling the glimmers of the night - the bright spots.

When you feel physically tense:
BEFORE: Try a yin practice or a body scan. Wear something comfortable.
DURING: Check in with your body every 30-60 minutes. Unclench your jaw, shrug your shoulders, and feel your feet on the ground.
AFTER: Move your body mindfully and easefully. Or - if it’s available to you, take a hot epsom salt bath.

A few more practices I love that you can find on the Peloton app include:

• Gratitude, when we feel it as a lived experience allows us to travel through life with a sense of generosity. It fuels us forward with positivity.

• Metta for yourself allows you to befriend yourself, helps you to come home to yourself, to hold yourself with loving kindness. Metta for others allows us to feel a sense of interconnectedness, to let our guards down enough to be open to other beings with generosity.

• Body scans allow us to release physical tension.

• Breath based meditations allow us to ground in the present moment and align our focus with our physical selves.

• Morning meditations allow us to anchor in intention, to move towards the version of ourselves we wish to be in the world.

• Hips focused classes, for releasing tension especially after travel.

• Floor pose classes, for an easeful way to move your body.

• Chair yoga, for shared practice with different levels of physical ability.

These practices are coming from my lived experience, and are not a substitute for medical advice. While they have greatly helped me navigate my life, I would be remiss to not include therapy as a huge part of my journey. I would advocate for professional help whether or not the circumstances are dire, but especially if so. Please seek professional help if you need.

More than anything, I wish for us to be kind to one another; everyday but especially through dynamic, moving parts of life when we are out of our regular routines. You never know what somebody else may be experiencing. May we be gentle and tender with ourselves and others. May we lead with grateful, generous hearts.